You were right. It hurts to walk today.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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