speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize