I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
