it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
