You just made me feel so damn special
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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