life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
