Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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