threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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