My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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