whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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