It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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