# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
