Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
