Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
