remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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