I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
