Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
