I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
