Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
