I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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