this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
no, he came in my armpit
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
