great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
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Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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