i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
