Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
