she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
