I smell stomach acid.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
