My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
