So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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