I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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