It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
