He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
