If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
