I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
