Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
