He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
there was a trapeze. enough said
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize