We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
