Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
