Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
