Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
