he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
