can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
