1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
