you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
