You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
