Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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