i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
