Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
