Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
