So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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