I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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