I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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