New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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