you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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