I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you would pick up someone in the library
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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