I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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