After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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