Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Someone came in the potted fern
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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