if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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