Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
